I thought I missed the opportunity to post about the
Fifty Shades of Grey movie, but then Charlie backed out and it's news again!
So, sometime in late August or early September, Hollywood announced that
Charlie Hunnam and
Dakota Johnson would portray Christian and Anastasia in the 2014 movie adaptation of the uber best selling novel Fifty Shades of Grey. That announcement actually came at the same time I was reading the first installment in the series. And, no, I wasn't impressed with the casting choices.
First, I think Charlie is too short to play Christian. Second, I think Dakota is a dead ringer for the role of Kate, Anastasia's best friend. But, I'm speculating that the role of Kate will be absent from the movie all together.
Obviously, I just wasn't feeling these guys as the characters from the book. Then, yesterday I hear that Charlie has dropped out of the movie. The radio said it was a fear of being type-cast,
IMDB says it's scheduling conflicts. I don't know which is accurate, but if I was fearful of type casting, I'd really be trying to get away from playing murdering motorcycle rider
Jax Teller.
And now that this is in the news again, I'd finally like to share my casting choices with the world.
Drum roll please.
Imagine Christian Grey played by the handsome and smart
Christopher Gorham. And Anastasia played by the lovely and smart
Anna Kendrick.
And here's way I made these choices.
Anna as Anastasia
1. Right hair color
2. Perfect for the beautiful but thinks she's not pretty role
3. Would be funny because Fifty Shades is the result of something known as Twilight Fan Fiction. Anna was in Twilight. Come on, it's funny.
4. Anastasia prefers to be called Ana. That's Anna's name already.
Christopher as Christian
1. Tall
2. Fantastic physique
3. Great speaking voice
4. Well, those three things are the only reasons you need to cast Christopher in this role.
Now, having said all that, I want to make a prediction. I predict that this movie will never see the light of day. And, if it miraculously does become reality, I think it will be so far removed from the book that fans will be up in arms disappointed. I mean, we have something called ratings in this country and there's no way anyone is turning this book into an R rated movie fit for theatres.
For me, this book just wasn't great. It wasn't a 'can't put it down' read that I couldn't wait to finish. Actually, I think it took me about two months to read it cover to cover. And I'm no interest in reading the other two installments. And that almost never happens when I've started reading a series. Plus, it's a blatant rip off of Twilight, pretty much down to the initials of the characters, but without the bite.
And the real clincher for me, the thing I found to be the most off-putting about this book, is a single line of dialogue from the final pages of the book. Christian says to Anastasia, "I want to hurt you." And that cemented the icky feeling that I had had from the beginning. I can't imagine being in a relationship where my partner openly admits that he wants to hurt me. It's just insane. I can hardly believe this series found the audience it did. It just isn't for me, I guess.
Hindsight: I got to thinking about this and I have a new prediction. I predict that, even though this won't make it to the movie box office, Fifty Shades might work as a one-hour drama for a major network. It won't fit I to the ABC Family or CW lineups, and it's not smart enough for AMC, but I think it might find a home on FX or maybe even HBO. These books are long, I think the right team of writers just might be able to squeak out a watchable series.
